Jessica, an operations manager, had an unresolved issue with a vendor and knew she must address the conflict. “It’s time for a ‘Come-To-Jesus Meeting,’” she told her staff. Jessica’s team had seen their boss in action and knew what that term meant: the vendor would be on the receiving end of a blunt confrontation.
Would it be a true “Come-To-Jesus” meeting – or something else?
“Come to Jesus” or “Come to Sinai”?
In one of the most well-known of such confrontations, Jewish leaders brought to Jesus a woman caught in the act of adultery. The accusers sought her condemnation and stoning as put forth in the Jewish law.
But the outcome was different than the leaders expected. Jesus turned the focus from the woman to her accusers, saying, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:8). Then He urged the woman to go and not make the same mistake again.
The accusers had sought to keep the rules. The woman had broken those rules. In the accusers’ minds, she should be punished. Their approach might be best termed a “Come-To-Sinai” meeting, named after the place where the Jewish law was laid down.
But to Jesus, the purpose of confrontation was redemption. A true “Come-To-Jesus” meeting combines confrontation with correction and the opportunity for life change – in this instance, an opportunity He presented to both the accusers and the accused.
Conflict Resolution: Look at Your Motives
A spiritually healthy leader understands that there are two opportunities that arise with confrontation: the need to correct and the chance to redeem.
If you seek only correction, then the confrontation will lay down the law and instill fear. This approach condemns rather than inspires. A “Come to Sinai” meeting is always accompanied by conflict and turmoil. The accused walk away destroyed, damaged, or at least wounded.
If you seek to use a problem for a good outcome, then the confrontation will be altogether different. A “Come-To-Jesus” meeting won’t skirt the issue, even if ultimately it means an employee is fired or a vendor’s account is cancelled. The approach will be one that seeks the best for the accused. A “Come-To-Jesus” meeting is filled with a sense of grace – a mixture of mercy and truth.
True Conflict Resolution Opens the Door to Growth
When Jessica and her team signed off from the conference call, staff members turned to her in surprise. “You made it clear that we’re not getting what we need,” said Jessica’s assistant. “Yet you gave the vendor the opportunity to make the changes.”
Jessica smiled. A true “Come-To-Jesus” meeting doesn’t close a door, but offers the opportunity to grow.
Give that opportunity for your relationships to center on Christ. And take the opportunity when it comes your way, too.
