Glue, Footings, and Windows
At first glance, a member of the royal family and a low-born commoner seem an unlikely pair to build an unshakeable relationship. But Jonathan and David together paint an inspiring model of an accountability partnership built on love, trust, and transparency.
Jonathan was the oldest son of King Saul, already seasoned as an army commander and courageous warrior. David was a mere shepherd boy who had just slain Goliath. Their bond was based on mutual respect. Soon, they entered into a covenant, signifying a commitment of love and trust from one man to the other.
In the same way, an accountability partnership is built between two believers of the same gender who make a commitment to share, think, and stretch. Such a relationship can be a powerful tool in spiritual health when it’s founded on love, trust, and transparency.
Love: the Glue of Commitment
“Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself” (1 Samuel 18:3). Here, the Hebrew term for “love” refers to deep affection for a friend. It is described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as patient, kind, not self-seeking, not easily angered, and forgiving. This love celebrates when truth reigns over evil. It protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres through life’s tough times. Like the bond shared by David and Jonathan, it is the kind of love that glues friends together.
Trust: the Footings for Commitment
But while love is the glue in a successful accountability relationship, trust is its foundation. The right accountability partner for you must be someone you respect. With the agreement comes the responsibility to create a safe place for each other to be yourselves … and the commitment to encourage each other to address issues and situations that will cultivate spiritual growth and health.
Transparency: the Window to Authenticity
Like a window, authenticity is transparent. Together, love and trust create the environment for authenticity. In the ultimate act of transparency, Jonathan stripped off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David. He took off his tunic, sword, bow and belt, and gave them to David, too (1 Samuel 18:4). In other words, Jonathan removed his protective layers. Exposure and defenselessness are uncomfortable for most of us, and even more so for soldiers like Jonathan who fight battles for a living.
An authentic accountability partner is willing to disarm himself. He also insists that you be genuine, too – even when it may be uncomfortable for both of you to peel away layers. Comfort takes a back seat in the relationship. The responsibility to be lovingly truthful is more important than remaining unchallenged.
Love, Trust, and Transparency: Glue, Footings, and Windows
David and Jonathan proved their mutual loyalty time after time. Jonathan warned David of conspiracies and encouraged David in times of danger. David remained faithful to Jonathan, even when threatened by Jonathan’s father, and fought unselfishly for Israel. They felt protected and loved by the other, yet never lulled into complacency. David and Jonathan have inspired Christians throughout the centuries to push each other to grow and yet provide the safety net of loving acceptance.
Love, trust, and transparency are precious commodities. It’s easy to see why they lay the foundation in any relationship, especially one so intimate as an accountability partnership.
